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Coaching Techniques

Here are several ideas for coaches or other people who are willing to help an individual in psychological difficulty. If you want further professional development then call our Ultimate Life Coaches, Director, Larry Nisan, to learn how you can develop your coaching abilities in an individually-directed program (remember we deal with ALL issues, even the very difficult ULTIMATE ones).

In Toronto 416-968-0640, outside Toronto and in the U.S. 1-888-966-6606, and in Europe at 001-416-968-0640.

Some “How to Coach” Tips

  1. Know this: all emotional behaviour is purposive (goal-directed).
  2. All effective coaches can identify the goal of behavior.
  3. When the goal is identified the coach shows you how you can change it or the ways of reaching it; the coach can change the individual’s way of behaving. (We encourage behaviour change as a primary goal.)
  4. Every individual can change IF he/she is willing.
  5. The coach encourages the client to change - doesn’t demand but remains focused.
  6. Encouragement can be particularly effective when the coach's suggestions are supported by a group/family.
  7. The client as a decision-making human has the choice as to how to respond to ALL emotional situations.
  8. The important element in coaching is not just the situation, but the way the patient/client views the situation and his/her response.
  9. The client must be made aware of the power of personal interpretation, i.e. of the creative way he/she uses the talent that he/she is blessed with.
  10. The client can be helped to assume the responsibility for taking a stand in improving the lives of themselves and others.
  11. The client can come to realize that he/she is the only one who can decide what he/she can do.
  12. The coach tells the client what he/she is doing, then where she/he is going, and then the consequences of his/her behavior.
  13. Through an Individual Psychological understanding of the client, the coach gains the client’s trust and cooperation.
  14. An appreciation of the holistic complexity of the individual enables the coach to see the unified relationship.
  15. Time is saved by active listening which includes:
    a. Observing nonverbal as well as verbal cues and fitting these into patterns (“Three points on a line are needed to indicate the direction of behaviour”).
    b. Guessing and then correcting one’s guesses (modeled after the way Alfred Adler used to read case history).
    c. Limiting the coach's dialogue to that which is strictly relevant.
  16. In dealing with disturbing children, the coach looks to identifying one or more of the Four Goals of Misbehaviour.
  17. The coach is concerned with the problem-situation presently facing the client and the overall context in which it occurs.
  18. The coach seeks early recollections in order to obtain, analyze, and interpret relevant data.
  19. Family constellation provides clues to ordinal and psychological position.
  20. The coach’s one main concern is to do the best he/she can to help the clients; that is, the coach is not concerned with their own performance.
  21. The coach does not compare himself to others. He/she may compare Individual Psychology with other approaches, and rank it first, but he/she does not compare people.
  22. The coach recognizes that the client is the one who must do the changing, and that his/her task is to entice/confront the client to move in the right direction.
  23. The coach does not become discouraged when he/she makes a mistake; it is probably not a fatal mistake, and the coach can learn from it.
  24. All things being equal, sometimes the preferred coaching situation is in a group/family situation (vs. the one-to-one relationship).